The award show honoring the best Twitter accounts chose the Fail Whale as their emblem. That might not have been a concious decision or an attempt at foreshadowing, but it was definitely their emblem.

The cocktail hour begins with a healthy mix of teenagers and established journalists; men wearing turtlenecks and blazers are just as prevalent as men with Soviet Bloc Party tees and blazers. There's not a single person without a phone in their hand and it's entirely reasonable to estimate there are more cameras than people. The guys from Epic Meal Time are checking their coats and surprisingly devoid of both bacon and Jack Daniel's. Off in the corner, there's some kid in a Darth Vader helmet. A chance meeting with guy who wrote most of Aasif Mandvi's jokes reveals all the free drinks are downstairs.

The doors upstairs open and everyone heads in and the founder explains how all the Tweeters who vote on the Tweeters are picked: there's a pyramid of Twitter votes that determines the most important people on Twitter who, in turn, vote on the most award-worthy Twitter accounts. Theoretically, if someone votes themself into the Real-Time Academy, this person could not only decide the fate of The Shorty Awards but also vote amongst the likes of Alyssa Milano, Jimmy Wales, or Chad Stoller.

The fist acceptance speech, despite a restriction on speeches to 140 characters or less, goes on to explain who he is, what he does and why he won for at least 140 words—and that sets the ball rolling. The next Twitter tie is represented by one guy who prepared a speech written like a freight train without brakes. And that's about the time when the press in standing room only starts getting kicked out. People trying to get in include Baratunde Thurston, who is not only nominated but also wins a Shorty later. Seriously, he's @Baratunde, he kind of runs The Onion, let the man in.

Downstairs there's a fair amount of free liquor and people who know what the deuce they're talking about. That guy introduces himself just as "Scott" though he's in charge of Laughing Squid. That girl over there built Know Your Meme and she seems to know everything about everyone else in the room—like why Laughing Squid exists or dropping the best F___Yeah[Insert Cool Thing Here] Tumblog jokes. Stiller and Meara upstairs make some amazing jokes and give some Shorties to some people who aren't there.

Charlie Todd is talking about how awesome it was to know that Keifer Sutherland was really upstairs—despite the fact that Mr. Todd's been curating mass hysterical for almost ten years. Indeed, Keifer is impressive, but for all the nerds downstairs, Charlie's equally impressive. On the screens, Jim Gaffigan's giving the Epic Meal Time boys their Shorty, which will end up shattered in their Jack Daniel's fueled fists of hilarity.

As the night comes to a close, it starts to become clear: some of the best tweeters on the Twitter got some well-deserved recognition, but the real event was easily the viewing party downstairs. Like all the award recipients in absentia, the most impressive people at the Shorty Awards (perhaps with the exception of the aforementioned amazing presenters) were not at the ceremony.