Pretend presidential candidate Donald Trump released his "birth certificate" yesterday, and by the end of the day, it was proven to be a fake.

Not to say we called it, but yeah. Just look at the chicken-scratch sheet of lies that his dog probably spent four seconds producing on Microsoft Publisher. This isn't "Show your 1st grade soapbox derby honorable mention certificate" hour, Trump. Where's the birth certificate?

As The Smoking Gun explains:

As seen above, he provided the conservative web site with what he purports to be his birth certificate.

Except the document is not an official New York City birth certificate, but rather a document generated by Jamaica Hospital, where Trump's mother Mary reportedly gave birth in June 1946. Official birth certificates are issued (and maintained) by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene's Office of Vital Records.

So, what is Trump trying to conceal?

Donald Trump is trying to conceal the fact that he was never born. He's a Play Doh statue whom some mad scientist applied dozens of bug zappers to in a (successful) attempt to bring him to life. Doesn't anyone remember all the crazy pagan fads of the '70s? This isn't complicated, America.