Madonna's brother worries about her love life. Lindsay Lohan is "completely over the club scene." Justin Bieber's toy-begging technique caught on tape. Ronnie Specter says Snooki stole her 'do. Monday gossip craves young blood.

  • Madonna's estranged brother thinks her cradle-robbing is "creepy." Quoth Christopher Ciccone: "I guess if she continues to date all these much younger guys, it could start to look creepy. But I think that a lot of Madonna's emotional needs are met by taking care of her children; these boyfriends must really be like a kind of distraction for her." He adds that he's really sad that Madge has cut him out of her life. He can't imagine why she'd do a thing like that, but will speculate endlessly and reveal any personal details he has handy. Truly, no idea why she hates him. [Radar, images via Bauer-Griffin]
  • For the billionth time in her life, Lindsay Lohan is "completely over the club scene." [TMZ]
  • Speaking of LiLo, her ex-boyfriend and reality TV flameout Aaron Carter is in rehab. His manager issued a statement: "Aaron, understanding the challenges and hard work it would take to get himself back to the top, requested to take some time before we started to heal some emotional and spiritual issues he was dealing with." They make it sound like a day at the spa. When celebrities go to rehab, they find themselves. When normal people go to rehab, they find jittery junkies who would claw their own eyeballs out for one hit of meth. [E!, People]
  • Ronettes lead singer Ronnie Spector on Snooki's pouf: "Please. I was the first Snooki. She thinks she invented the pouf. I invented it." [Gatecrasher]
  • A video of Justin Bieber begging his mother for permission to buy a toy helicopter after his manager told him "no" proves that tween celebrities have adapted the ol' two-parent runaround to manipulate their professional minders. A fascinating glimpse at how child stardom perverts kinship structures! Or at the humiliation that is working for a tween celebrity: "This is my life now," his manager mutters as Bieber whines to his mother, "He's being a jerk!" In the end, Bieber does not get the helicopter. Here's a preview of the banal terror that is TMZ's 9-minute version of the video. [TMZ]

[There was a video here]

  • Former Spice Girl Emma Bunton Twitter-announces her engagement to a male human named Jade Jones: "Yahooooo I'm Engaged! Love you Jade! I'm a very happy lady!!" They are expecting their second child in May. [@EmmaBunton, TMZ]
  • Jewel and her nine-time rodeo-champ husband Ty Murray found out their baby-to-be's gender: Boy. [People]
  • Is Chelsea Handler banging 50 Cent, or is she banging hotelier Andre Balazs? Does she even have a personal life outside of publicity stunts? All the world's a stand-up stage… [P6]
  • Who came to Calvin Klein's gay panty-model boytoy Nick Gruber's schmancy 21st birthday party? These people came: Anna Wintour, Daphne Guinness, Vera Wang, Evan Lysacek, Ian Schrager. I like to imagine Nick Gruber surveying the crowd of A-listers, then taking a swig of vodka and screaming, "Who's on the bottom now, motherfuckers?" [P6]