Magazine time capsule Vanity Fair took a break from dead old ladies and put modern teen sensation Justin Bieber on the cover. Of course they depict him as a '50s heartthrob listening to records on ye olde phonograph machine. Ugh.

Because Vanity Fair can't process anything that has happened after the Kennedy administration, the mag paints Justin Bieber as Eddie Fisher, running away from screaming girls while holding a guitar. The clothes are modern, and the kids are real, but the whole things smacks of a bygone era of sock hops and Coke in glass bottles. The only thing that's missing is a varsity sweater with a huge letter on it. My favorite thing about the shoot are the 20 Bieber-obsessed tween girls they dolled up in poodle skirts and sweater sets to chase him around. Check out the video below and you'll see our young man posing with his shirt open at a table. Thank god he didn't take his shirt off or there would have been some Miley-style outrage!