In your magical Monday media column: David Carey welcomes himself to Hearst, the NewsBeast gets delayed, Pat Kiernan's website is in danger, David Carr has predictions, and newspaper companies are the stock market's biggest coin flip.

  • David Carey, the new boss at Hearst (which is in talks to buy Hachette's magazines, which would make it a superstrong magazine conglomerate), sent employees a memo today: "I've always loved today, the first business day of the new year," it begins. NERD ALERT. Carey says the right things, but his managementspeak tends to cause one's eyes to glaze: "Here's a challenge I'd like to propose to you for 2011: Let's dramatically dial up our entrepreneurial thinking. Let's put a final stake in the heart of "playing it safe." Let's move out of our comfort zone." Let's kill cliches. LOL. Anyhow, I'm sure David will, at minimum, replicate the success he had at Portfolio. (Feel free to use that when you need a dirty cheap shot, Hearst employees).
  • The Newsweek- Daily Beast merger won't be closing until later this month, giving the remaining staff at both places a couple extra weeks to sit around biting their nails in sheer terror.
  • Horrifying news for fans of NY1 newsman Pat Kiernan and his uncanny newspaper story-selection abilities: his website PatsPapers.com is in danger of closing due to not making money. Will YOUR inattention be the reason for Pat Kiernan crying? Act now!
  • Some of David Carr's media predictions for 2011: the traditional media will become ever less distinguishable from the "new media;" Twitter and Facebook will be all over the teevee; and print media will pray for some online money to pour in. The march towards advertising-enhanced television brain-chips steams on, in other words.
  • Of the eleven public newspaper companies left in the US, about half of them saw their shares rise last year, and about half saw their shares fall—in each case, by as much as 50%. The Washington Post Co. didn't move a god damn bit, all year! I guess the lesson is, tread carefully when investing in newspaper stocks, and always know that the New York Times Co. will decline.

[Photo: Getty]