Magazine Industry Reminds You of All The Things Magazines Can't Do
The amorphous "Magazine Industry" continues its Quixotic—nay, nonsensical quest to save itself from decline by placing ads that urge people to read magazines into magazines, which the people in question are, necessarily, already reading.
Whereas the last big magazine industry ad billed magazines as "the ideal complement" to online media, this new one comes right out and says it: fuck the internet. We're paraphrasing.
"Magazines don't blink on and off. They don't show video or deliver ads that pop up out of nowhere. You can't DVR magazines and you can't play games on them." With an intro like that, they might lose the young people who actually enjoy all of those things that magazines cannot do, but in exchange they'll draw in the feeble-minded demographic, who did not know that magazines were incapable of blinking of and off. Savvy trade, magazine strategists.
Then it goes on to say magazines are good, blah blah blah. Overall we'll say this one's dumber than the "magazines are like coffee" ad but not quite as dumb as the "magazines are like ransom notes" ad. Two steps forward, one step back. (While reading a magazine!)
