Every year around Thanksgiving time, drinking and driving seem to go together almost as often as the turkey and stuffing. Let's let these idiots serve as cautionary tales as to why the two should never mix.

Here's a lucky 2-for-1 scenario. Lucky in the sense that no one was seriously injured and both of these jerks cars were totaled.

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Seemingly, being cuffed and under arrest are the least of this guys problems, so that's comforting.

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This clown either drank so much that he actually believed he was in the CIA or is the worst liar in the world. Either way, it's a good thing he'd already pulled over.

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Beer Muscles here couldn't tell when enough was enough or keep a lid on his lip. Luckily, officers have a way of easily dispensing with these types.

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Super-old-people driving is scary enough. Super-old-drunk-people driving is terrifying. And Super-old-drunk-people-who-don't-understand-technology driving, well that's almost enough to keep us off road completely.

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People who drop family members names who are cops as a means to weasel out of trouble are the absolute worst. Luckily, the rules still apply. Smile for the camera douche.

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We here are always fans of drunken derelicts speaking in disjointed legalese.

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The funny part is knowing that behind that blur, this lady obviously looks like John Malkovich.

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All the way back at the station, this man can still barely stand. Hopefully they made him pay for the damage to the wall as well his heavy fines. Sweet vase btw.

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Ooooh! How's your face?

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