Our national junk-touching nightmare is far from over! The freak-out over the Transportation Security Administration's nudie x-rays and "enhanced" patdowns continued over the weekend, thanks to even more heartwarming stories of airport security. So, who got groped this weekend?

So, if you've spent any time on the internet in the last couple weeks, you've probably encountered the outrage over the TSA's semi-new security techniques: The backscatter x-ray machines, which take no-clothes x-rays of you as you walk through them, and the "enhanced" patdown, which is what you get when you refuse to go through the x-ray machine and is less "enhanced" and more "gropey in your parts area." Neither of these procedures has been convincingly shown to prevent terror attacks. And yet: You have to submit to them, I guess because the TSA has to look like it's doing something.

Anyway, It can be hard to keep track of the internet outrage, videotaped protests and the increasingly unbelievable stories coming out of airports. So we present to you: The people who were groped this weekend.

  • Amateur pornographer FurryGirl, "a real girl with a hairy pussy" and proprietor of FurryGirl.com (NSFW, duh). This was less a "groped against her will" situation and more a "situationist protest" kind of a thing: FurryGirl posted a video of herself stripping down to see-through underwear for the the patdown procedures. Before you ask, no, you can't really "see anything":

She wrote about the experience on her blog (also NSFW).

  • Bladder cancer survivor Thomas Sawyer, whose pat-down ended with himself soaked in his own urine, after the TSA agent broke the seal on his urostomy bag, which was filled with his own urine. According to Sawyer, "They never apologized. They never offered to help. They acted like they hadn't seen what happened. But I know they saw it because I had a wet mark." He wasn't able to clean himself until after boarding his flight.
  • Flight attendant Cathy Bossi, a breast cancer survivor who was forced to remove her prosthetic breast during an "aggressive" pat down, even though TSA agents "aren't supposed to remove any prosthetics" (they do have the right to see prosthetics).
  • Not Republican leader John Boehner, who is exempt from from the TSA's procedures.
  • A lot of other people, probably, whose stories didn't get written about in the news.

Now: The outrage over these procedures is, admittedly, fueled by a right-leaning libertarian community that seemed awful quiet about similarly questionable procedures during the Bush administration, and brought to the forefront at least in part thanks to the fact that, well, in this instance, it's non-Muslims whose rights are likely being violated. But: Just because we're not huge fans of the people who are driving these protests—and just because they seem a little late to the table—doesn't make their claims illegitimate. And maybe—maybe!—getting people involved with this might make those people more concerned about civil-rights violations that aren't specifically inconveniencing them. And that would be nice for everyone, right?

[Screenshot via BoingBoing]