In case you weren't paying attention, Ricky Martin's autobiography, Me, came out on Tuesday. We read the book and are here to share some of our favorite parts. Oh, Ricky, we love hearing about you shaking your bon bon!

First, by way of introduction, Ricky wants you to know that the name he prefers—the name he calls himself in private—is Kiki. Of course Ricky would choose a drag name for himself for his most intimate moments.

Ricky might have come out of the closet with a splash, but he wasn't always into boys. His first sexual experience with a woman was a bit of a disaster, though:

That all changed though when he met his first boyfriend:

Here Ricky explains his "animal" lust for men:

Even after he was out to himself, he still had professional struggles, like this spat that occurred when he was on General Hospital. It is perhaps the gayest identity crisis we've ever heard.

Even after the hair drama, Ricky needed an escape. So he decided to be a young boy again. There's a whole interlude where he's dealing with his identity issues and climbs up a tree and cries because it reminds him of being a child. Weird! Later he finds himself in a very interesting way, through martial arts.

But that's all behind him now. Today Ricky is out and proud and raising his two sons. Life is wonderful! Well, there's one other thing that makes it even better: Twitter!

Sorry, Ricky, but when we imagine your tool, it looks nothing like Twitter.

[Photo, top, via Getty. Many thanks to Intern Lindsay for reading the book for us.]