Kanye West's 34-minute epic music video, "Runaway," will seem genius to people who think Kanye West is a genius, and stupid to people who think Kanye West is stupid. That's just how these things work. But it's definitely worth seeing!

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If nothing else, it's worth seeing former Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks prancing around for 34 minutes in feather lingerie. The bra she wears is so tiny that it's not so much cleavage it displays as interior sideboob.

Anyway, there's other stuff as well. Like:


A comet hits Kanye's Lamborghini, and a sexy angel (Selita Ebanks) emerges from the wreckage. Because when Kanye has a car accident, it's always a sexy car accident.


Kanye takes care of the sexy angel in his house, which happens to have a baby deer and a sheep living in the yard. (SYMBOLISM?) He brings her to a fireworks show that features a marching band with a float of Michael Jackson's head, because that's not creepy at all.


Shitloads of ballerinas play at a big banquet Kanye holds for the sexy angel, because ballerinas = class, and Kanye is classy.


Wildlife, spotted while Kanye drives his Lambo through the woods, because driving a Lambo through the woods = class and sensitivity. Kanye is classy and sensitive.


Kanye West, running away after the sexy angel leaves him, because the video is called "Runaway," and Kanye thinks very literally.

Also, Kanye attempts to act! Here is sample dialogue from the end of the video, when he talks to the sexy angel (who is actually a phoenix, it turns out?) about her dissatisfaction with the world:

Sexy Angel: All of the statues that we see, where do you think they came from?
Kanye: I think artists carved them years and years ago
Sexy Angel: No, they are Phoenix turned to stone.

In conclusion, "Runaway" is like Kanye West wrote, directed and starred in a Kanye West-themed episode of "Glee." Hey, at least it's better than that Michael Bay Victoria's Secret ad.