Comment of the Day: Who Cares About a Flag, Really?
Today we looked at the terrible crime of Sarah Palin's American flag signing. Or is it such a terrible crime? Has the goddess really done anything wrong? One Palin fan thinks not.
What kind of real American gives a shit about a flag? It's only a symbol. And symbols don't stand up and give you strength. They don't pucker up their Real American lips and perky up their boobs with that home exercise device that's just a big steel rod that you shake shake shake until your middle-aged tits are firmer against your middle-aged pectoral muscles, so that you can stand up and warble out a geegollygotchamedia tune, confident in yourself, able to take on the world. The flag. What has the flag ever done for me? Has the flag ever beaten up a black kid who looked at me funny in line for the movies? Has the flag ever helped me get those latino families out of my neighbourhood. Just last week my daughter came home talking about "raegetton". I don't even know what the fuck that is, but if she brings home a boy named Paco I'll tell you what a flag will be good for - to muffle the shot of my remington! That's what a flag will be good for. Flags. Too many Americans worry about principles. That's what the fuck is wrong with our country. Too much liberal gallivanting and posiphansying, too much fooferaw and mufferaw. Too much glib glab glandular mammiferrying. Sarah Palin is about rightness. She's a right speaker, and looks darn tootin purdy in those tight blazers. She speaks for the rights of the unborn, for the blood and body of our children, for their tiny skeletons, for those tiny lumps of undivided cells that have no resemblance to a person at all except in potentiality. She can sign whatever she wants. She can sign a flag. And if you don't let her sign it, then I'll take it from you and piss all over it, because you don't deserve to hold the Flag, like a real American.
