The Way We Live Now: just like everyone else. Feeling that pain. But so is everyone! It makes it a little easier to tolerate. Bank failing? Wages falling? Rent overdue? Been bodily purchased by a shady Russian? Join the club!

Good news, losers: A full 55% of Americans say they got slammed by this recession, one way or another. Most of you think the god damn thing is still going on, even though it is not, econometrically speaking! I mean, maybe you don't have it quite as bad as South Africans, who are staring down the twin terrors of terrible crackdowns on the poorest workers and greater incursions by Wal-Mart; still, over here, we got it bad.

How bad?

So bad it seems like you gotta be dead to get a decent check in this town! So bad even the people who live in projects can't afford the rent! So bad we just had the largest number of bank failures in 20 years! So bad we're selling our pure American models to some shady Russian for who knows what nefarious purposes, we don't even want to imagine!

The good news: most everybody else is fucked, too. When you sink, at least you won't sink alone. (You can tell your neighbor to go to hell on the way down.) [Pic via]