Pointedly ignoring the fact that most schools are worthless, While Obama is trying to hire 10,000 new teachers. Great, just what our kids need (*sarcasm punctuation mark*). More science, chess, Chinese classes...what our kids need is self-defense. Nerds!

This is just actual fact. Obama wants to hire ten thousand new science, technology, engineering and math teachers. Nerdy. Our elementary school kids are all up in Chinese class. Nerdy. Yea, and that's not when they're in chess class. Nerdy. And on top of that, word is out that the average ten year-old is carrying around a thousand bucks worth of crap!

Nerdy, science-spouting, Chinese chess-playing nerds toting around a bounty just waiting to be picked clean by bullies! Sickeningly stereotypical. When will President Obama mandate all-day Krav Maga classes in our failing schools?

[Pic via]