Today at Gawker.TV, Justin Bieber sped up 800% sounds terrifying, footage of a 13-year-old Scarlett Johansson, the new Sun Chips bag is louder than the NYC subway, and Jennifer Aniston addresses why she responded to Bill O'Reilly's remarks about her.

Stephen Colbert Endorses Some Fantastically Stupid Immigration Ideas
Last night Stephen used "The Word" to uncover the best ideas our misguided politicians can come up with for illegal immigration. Also, the distinguished host seems to know a bit too much about how addictive immigrant labor can be.

Justin Bieber Sped Up 800% Is Horrifying
This week, we discovered that Justin Bieber's song, "U Smile," is awesome when slowed down 800%. Speeding it up by the same factor results in a totally different experience. Warning: you might need an aspirin after this.

Jennifer Aniston Explains Why She Responded to Bill O'Reilly's Insults
Jennifer Aniston's latest film, The Switch, has incurred the wrath of Bill O'Reilly, who believes the film goes against "traditional family values". Here, Aniston clarifies exactly what message she wants to send.

The New Sun Chips Bag is Louder Than a New York City Subway Car
This morning, Today delved deep into the depths of the issue that's plaguing America, land of snackers extraordinaire-how noisy the new biodegradable Sun Chips bag is. Serious news inside.

Watch an Interview with a 13-Year-Old Scarlett Johansson from 1998
On Wednesday, the E! network re-broadcast this archive footage of a young Scarlett Johansson hamming it up while promoting The Horse Whisperer. Seeing such a glamorous starlet depicted as a goofy, horse-obsessed teenage girl is really quite endearing.