The story: A Paramount exec sent an email to a coworker, it was intercepted by Sharon Waxman's Nikke Finke voodoo doll The Wrap, and now everyone has it. Basically it lays out their upcoming slate of movies, and it's bleak.

Yes, you did read that right about J.J. Abrams. Basically at this point J.J. Abrams can have a passing idea while sitting on the toilet pooping and looking at the linen closet and it will become a movie that you will pay $12 for.

Also, if this is real, this Bigtime Hollywood Exec cannot spell or grammarize worth a damn. Aren't all these people supposed to have gone to Cornell or Dartmouth (you know, pretend Ivies) or something? If someone can't spell the name of their own screenwriter (Justin Thereaux??), then maybe they shouldn't know big things about J.J. Abrams' favorite makeout game or Taylor Lautner's sexy new project.

My favorite thing, other than 7 Minutes in Heaven, 365 Days in Hell, is the movie Luna which they are just not moving forward with. No explanation or anything further given. Just no. Sorry, Luna. I know you as a movie are probably very disappointed that you can't work with these crack professionals.

Yay movies! The person who sent this email makes so much money it would make your eyes bleed.

Also: Hasbro Factory. Yes. Keep making dreams, Hollywood.

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