The Way We Live Now: Lying and saying we're anticipating the best. How could it possibly be so? We do that to reassure the kids, you know. Leave em in their poverty schools, learning to counterfeit. It gives them hope.

Forecasters are optimistic about the economy, eh? They think they see lots of positive signs, eh? Do you remember what happened last time forecasters were optimistic about the economy? Everything blew up to the point that the brave Republican party was the only thing saving us from Wall Street reform, the biggest fear of unemployed Americans.

No, it's much better to keep the forecasts steadily filled with fear and loathing. Fewer letdowns that way. We're a lost cause, anyhow; most of us are abandoning our citizenship as fast as possible. It's all about the kids now. And since they have schools full of poor kids that are actually doing well, I figure we don't have to worry much. The state has our responsibilities covered. We adults can dedicate our full attention to thinking up new ways to rip off taxi passengers, and trying to perfect our new counterfeit $100 bill technique so we don't get caught up in the next seizures.

Kids: save us. With money, we mean. And quick.