Former cocaine smuggler Douglas Spink found a great new way to earn his keep: He ran a bestiality farm where visitors could make love to dogs, stallions, and mice smothered in Vaseline with their tails cut off, say authorities.

This story is absolutely disgusting. But if you made it this far, you already know that, and are unable to tear your eyes away from the horror. Don't say you weren't warned.

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Spink's farm is a "ramshackle, heavily wooded compound near the Canadian border" where dozens of horses, dogs, mice, animal porn, and alleged kid porn have been confiscated. The Associated Press interviewed Whatcom County Sheriff Bill Elfo after the mass euthanasia of Spink's pet mice:

"This stuff is just truly bizarre," he said. "These were mice that had their tails cut off, they were smothered in Vaseline and they had string tied around them."

In other words: The Richard Gere gerbil rumor may be true, after all!

Spink was arrested alongside a British tourist who filmed himself having sex with a dog at the farm. Assisting bestiality is illegal in Washington, but Spink hasn't been charged with anything yet, other than violating his supervised release following a stint in prison for smuggling 375 pounds of cocaine. Animal fucking may be a philosophic rite for him:

Spink, who has a history of training and breeding dogs and horses, appeared in U.S. District Court in Seattle on Friday and was ordered detained pending another hearing, set for April 30. He calls his operation Exitpoint Stallions Limitee and expounds at length on its Web site about his philosophy.

"Are we unconventional in our approach to stallion care? Absolutely," he writes.

He later adds: "We don't wall off sexual energy in our stallions as something dangerous or inappropriate, but rather channel that energy towards positive, safe, appropriate paths. There's a proper time and place for it, and we work towards those sorts of skills rather than fighting un-winnable fights against deeply-rooted instincts."

[AP, HuffPo, via Bristol Cities]