You probably thought all of those Russian oligarchs were rotting in prison. Not Andrey Melnichenko, whose $300 million bomb-proof yacht will be obscenely hitting up the world's hottest beach spots this summer and spoiling less-rich men's vacations.

Simply named "A," Melnichenko's 394-foot, custom built penis ship has all the amenities a billionaire could dream of on the high seas: a rotating king-size bed, 44-millimeter bomb-proof glass, $40,000 bathroom knobs, Baccarat tables, and a special "nookie room" where he can impress female guests with the sheer size of his ship and its living quarters. Melnichenko, "a 38-year-old banking, steel and fertilizer czar" is in stiff competition with fellow billionaire (and New Jersey Nets owner!) Roman Abramovich for the world's most awesomist boat ever. Abramovich's new 540-foot "Eclipse" will launch soon.

It wasn't easy building the greatest ship to ever set sail, either. The boat basically put three companies out of business, according to The Journal:

A transom door in the rear of the boat, which swings with open to become a swim deck, is fitted with so many hydraulics, locking pins, rotating stairs and electronics that it cost around $25 million to build. The company that made it eventually went bankrupt, along with the company that made the bomb-proof wrap-around glass encasing the master suite and the company that built the hydraulic gangways. The ship's two main landing boats are mini-yachts themselves, stretching to 36 feet, boasting plush interiors and costing more than $1 million each.

Watch out, you envious millionaires on the Côte d'Azur — the billionaires will show you how it's done. A slideshow of the "A" can be seen here.

[Image via]