The Worst Video Games Made into Movies
The draw of video games is the chance to punch people or explode stuff. The point here is interactivity. However, Hollywood execs decided to take the fun out of these games and turn them into craptacular movies.
Usually, and I'm excluding you Zelda: Ocarina of Time, the plots to video games are horrendous. A virus has miraculously killed 99.9% of women and the remaining women are all warlords (BattleTanx). Shaq attempts to go to a charity event and instead travels to another dimension to kill demons (Shaq Fu). Or, everyone's favorite stupid plot, two plumber brothers fight turtles, dragons and plants to save an ungrateful princess (Mario). This would beg the question, why the hell would you ever make a video game based movie? We've compiled the ten worst movies and we'll let you decide if their creation was a good idea or not.
Mortal Kombat
Apparently it's hard to spell in this video game's universe. That damned "K" in Kombat haunts me. Anyways, this game combines everything Westerners pretend to know about Asia and distill it down into a stereotypical form. Everyone settles every dispute with hand-to-hand combat, right? The movie itself is so cheesy and predictable that it grossed over $122,000,000...god damn MK fan boys.
Wing Commander
It's hard to take a plot seriously where one of the main enemies is a big adorable race of cats. In Wing Commander, the original faceless hero was named "Bluehair", well...because of his cool blue hair. In the movie adaptation, they just used Freddie Prinze Jr. and then they had all the cool they would ever need.
House of the Dead
You know why this game was fun? Because you got to take your fake-ass plastic gun and pop off the heads of zombies. It was super satisfying, especially in 1996. However, this awful remake has been universally panned. It's hard to get 4% on Rotten Tomatoes.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
With a game universe encompassing the Plain of Tears and the Empire of Stars how bad could the storyline be? Atrocious. Bad enough that they had to cast Jason Statham, the king of starring in bad movie plots, as the "simple farmer" who mysteriously can destroy an entire evil empire when he gets mad.
Bloodrayne
Vampires are eternally appealing which is why they got the video game treatment in Bloodrayne. The plot is almost exactly the same as Blade, made four years prior, and tracks a dhampir (who knew there was a word for half-human, half-vampire?) through her struggle to find herself as well as kill people she doesn't like. Having Meat Loaf star in the movie should have given everyone the hint that this movie would suck. Oh, and Michael Madsen, one of the main characters, said he thought the movie sucked. Bonus: trailer for Bloodrayne 2.
Super Mario Bros.
Oh my god. Does the Mario Brothers series even have a plot besides plumber brothers, lizard king and damsel in distress? Whoever had to write the plot to this movie had a lot of gaps to fill. Especially if you're going to include the ridiculous John Leguizamo and an albino, corn-rowed super villain.
Street Fighter
Hadouken! The most famous phrase from the Street Fighter franchise should have been an ominous sign to potential movie producers. Instead, they realized how terrible a potential movie was and decided to make the movie as bad as possible by sticking Jean-Claude Van Damme in there alongside a cast of ridiculous characters from a green Grendel to a shark-eyed, possessed military general.
Dead or Alive
And the granddaddy of all fighting games turned into terrible movies is: Dead or Alive. The plot didn't revolve around much besides ridiculously proportioned girls being half erotic and half deadly. The movie follows this plot perfectly and even includes sassy girl humor! Hooray!