Men! Women! Babies! Moms! Fruits! Vegetables! Cancer! Wormholes! Elements! And a whole lotta what-the-hey. It's your science watch column, where we watch science—with one foot on the event horizon!

  • Men are neutering themselves in honor of the recession, and women are also doing their part by having fewer babies, to save some cash. Except for ladies in their 40s, who are having more babies. Hey 45 year-old mom, wait a few years for Wall Street, will you? Selfish.
  • A new study finds that kids who turn 18 and therefore get put out of the foster care system have all types of problems with crime and poverty and teen pregnancy. What is more heartbreaking and awful than a childhood spent in the broken foster care system? Being put out of that system.
  • Uh oh, advanced microscopic analysis etc. "found only a weak association between high fruit and vegetable intake and reduced overall cancer risk." Hmm, what else did your mom lie to you about? Her involvement in you-know-what?
  • A theoretical physicist suggest our entire universe could be located inside a wormhole. That and a quarter won't even get you a cup of coffee in Bumfuck, Iowa.
  • Scientists have discovered a new element. Does it get you high? No? Boring.