Assailing PR man/humble website proprietor Dan Abrams, a known bald man with a hair-system of some kind, on last night's Countdown, thick-maned pirate Olbermann employed some very subtle wordplay. He used coded language and punnery to mock Abrams' shameful chromedomedness.

To call the details of the spat irrelevant would be giving them too much credit, so don't you worry your pretty, well-coiffed head about that. Instead, just listen to all of Keith's deft bald jokes. Which were, really, the core strengths of his entire rebuttal. A tipster lays them out:

And in his attempt to implant his bitterness toward this place, to plug or weave it into his website, he has wigged out. He would like us to sweep his failure under the rug as if it were a bald-faced lie, or there will be hell to pay.

Cruel, masterful wordsmithery, Olbermann! Abrams is notoriously sensitive about his science hair — during his days at MSNBC, we hear the makeup people were not allowed to touch it — so that can't have felt good. Ten points for Olbermann house! Five points to Abrams because we feel bad. Won't someone be nice and go read Mediaite to make him feel better? Or, if you're really nice, Geekosystem.