Child beauty pageants, typically for little ladies and mothers who dream of bedazzled babies, went co-ed on last night's Toddlers & Tiaras premiere. Two boys, Cruz and Maddox, competed in rhinestone tuxedos, suffering the same torments their stage sisters face.

Maddox's big win broke the pageant circuit's Swarovski ceiling—even if he napped through his coronation—granting all children the freedom to get the mani-pedis they so desperately desire.