The Way We Live Now: Desperately seeking Alpha. That is totally just some Wall Street slogan I heard somewhere! It would be more accurate to say we're too broke to even afford snow plows, for our homeless snow den hovels.

Home prices "rose modestly" in October. Economists say this is basically a piece of tasty cheese sitting on a trap that is the rest of the economy, and when you become entranced and reach up to stroke that tasty pretty cheese then BAM, everything else collapses on your head, and cuts your head off, and what were you wearing on your head? Your wallet. Now it's gone.

This is how economists have to talk to us now, because we don't listen. We just do the same dumb shit over and over again. Do you know what we are still talking about, in almost 2010? Cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina. That should be cleaned up already! Hey guys, we can't even afford to pay snow plows to clear the snow when it snows in America, so just be thankful there's little snow buildup in front of your crumbling Katrina shacks, okay?

It's because we are incapable of handling any money-related issues. Judges—judges!—are strongly hinting that they will fuck up the justice system if they don't get a raise. That is not even ethical, or a good way to get a raise.

There are gangsters all over China now. Gangsters in China!? I thought they were just in Japan and Sicily. What is next to occur!?

We better get out of this recession before we're all killed by something.

[Pic via]