There's Never Been a Better Time to Try Your Hand at House Flipping
The Way We Live Now: Doubling our money in six months, just you watch. House flipping is back! And not a moment too soon; pauper retirees have to raise money to pay for the subway fare hikes. Real Estate, huzzah!
America's House Flippers, the backbone of our economy's rise to world dominance, have been waiting dormantly for this moment, like so many of those frogs that hide under mud in the desert during the dry season, then come out when it rains. Well, it's raining now—raining opportunity! For house flipping! Now, people are flipping houses that got foreclosed on after the last Greater Fool bought it, from a house flipper. But beware: "Unlike the boom-time flippers, the latest generation needs cold cash, lots of local-market knowledge and strong nerves."
Or you can learn how to make your fortune with no money down and no knowledge, from an infomercial!
Either way, it's a good career for homebound retirees, who would rather not be retirees except for the fact that they're old and there are no jobs out there, so guess what, they're retirees. Just accept it, grandpa. But with house flipping easier than ever, you old folks should have no trouble raising more than enough money to pay off the massive MTA budget gap, which will obviously require fare hikes, especially since the MTA swears it will not hike fares.
Investment. Real estate. Transportation. Entrepreneurship. Old people. These words, taken together, spell Strength For America. As long as you don't trust the credit rating agencies.
