If Wall Street Bonuses Are Any Indication the Economy Is Back, Yall!
The Way We Live Now: Too insidery. Business was better in the old days, when you used to be able to make money at it. We're bringing it back, throwback style: Crime, big bonuses, and screwing the natives, huzzah!
Fourteen more people have been charged with insider trading. Didn't they just charge some people with insider trading like, a couple weeks ago? We're far exceeding the SEC's yearly quota of prosecutions here.
Just callllmmmm it down, fellas.
Bonus season's coming! And bonuses this year are already expected to be as big as they were at the height of the bubble! Bigger and bigger buyouts, academic "irrefutable evidence" be damned! Bigger is better, in terms of stacks of dollars.
But don't think Wall Street hasn't learned from this whole "Global economic meltdown" fiasco. It's learned that populist anger is a force to be reckoned with. So you can be sure that, going forward, Wall Street will do everything in its power to guarantee that each and every American, no matter how poor, is entitled to a lifeless patch of desert in the Arizona badlands from which to attempt to scrape out a meager survival. And after each poor American subsequently drinks himself damn near to death, he will be entitled to show up at his own funeral, which will provide a little levity.
