Here is how fake trends turn into troubling fake trends: Wooed into masculine complacency by male body lotion ads, men become metrotextual and start signing their text messages with "Kisses." Next thing you know, grandpa's sexting.

As if the fake marketing and technology trends challenging the manhood of young, attractive males wasn't worrying enough, now we have to contemplate the existence of a parallel fake trend afflicting our parents and grandparents which we really would prefer not to contemplate, at all, but there it is, right in the AARP magazine, of course:

"I'll say, 'You have an amazing body. You have amazing breasts,'" he reports. The next thing you know, you'll get a picture of a breast," he says with a hearty laugh.

Yea but an old dude said that, which makes it totally...

"If you're sitting in a restaurant waiting for your food, you can just talk dirty to someone, and no one knows what you're doing," Jill says, in a slow Southern drawl. "I would rather talk on the phone. But I'm also comfortable with hiding behind texting if I want to say something dirty."

Gurl u no ur body just don't quit. Gurl u no u shd let me show u my male body lotion. Gurl UR so fine.