The Way We Live Now: Counterintuitively. The recession is discombobulating your normal expectations. Prices for worthless schools go up. Lawyers turn to pimps. Everybody wants to be abused. Dildos are not what they seem!

After receiving your own totally worthless liberal arts education in an institution of higher learning (weed joke), you may have assumed, based upon your rudimentary, worthless understanding of economics, that a sever economic crisis would cause people to pay less for education, since they would understand that going to college puts you in debt and will not get you a job. Wrong you are. US college tuition went up 6.5% last year. Shows how good your college was, sucker.

A New Jersey lawyer had a pimp for a client; while the pimp went to jail, the lawyer took over his pimping business, and gave freebies to a bunch of law enforcement types. You might think the legal system would overlook this sort of thing, because the man was from Jersey. But no.

Six women in NYC "have been charged with submitting fraudulent documents - including forged police reports and court orders - to portray themselves as victims of domestic violence in an apparent attempt to jump to the front of a long waiting list for government subsidized apartments." A woman who wants to be an abuse victim? That's crazy! The recession does crazy things though. It really does.

Police saw a Massachusetts man "carrying a suspicious bag." Hey, they asked him, what's in that suspicious bag? Oh, just my wife's sex toys, he said. But then the police looked inside the bag and really it was full of stolen goods, and not even one sex toy. Disappointed? Sure, they probably were, but that's how it goes in a recession like this. Sometimes you get the bag full of golden dildos, and sometimes you get surprised.
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