We really feel for all those Conde Nast staffers who have been sent out to join the unemployed masses. That said, we just adore the entertaining anger spilling out of their sad, drunken fingers, like this numerically-minded missive...

We suppose these blind item offerings were supposed to be an internal dialogue, but the admittedly drunken messenger must have lost his or her way during the note's composition, which only makes it all the more enthralling.

1. Will i get in trubs for this??
2. Nah son.
2. I may be a little shitty off giveaway table spirits .
3. Nahhh son.
4. Blind item: Which two CNP staffers are clam divers married to chutney ferrets?
8. Which management team boasted a post-fold boozy lunch on Uncle Si in front of editorial assistants packing up their Nastie accoutrements?
9. Nah son.
10. Which CNP book has made "an indelible mark on American society" yet remains a "burden"?
11. xoxo Conde Nastie

Hmm, so what do we have here? Two lesbians, passive aggressive taunts and a magazine that's pulling down the company. Sounds pretty typical. Anyone have insight?