Are you a struggling teacher looking to really reach your students and make money? Well, just give them some blow. That's what one woman did. Now she's going to jail. Shame!

Theresa Duarte, who was once described by her students as "the coolest woman alive," was sentenced to six months in prison after hashing her shit to a student. Does anyone know how hard it is to get through to pre-pubescent and teenaged masses? They're fucking animals.

Duarte, clearly at her wit's end, was simply trying to bring a lost, troubled soul into the fold. She should be commended. If our nation's education system can't enthrall students on its own, it's up to teachers to innovate and solve the problem. And we all know cocaine solve all of life's great woes, even if it is deadlier than ever. Survival of the fittest, right?

Duarte's hardly the only drug-related victim in this omnipresent problem. A now-fired kindergarten teacher was arrested last week for having coke on his pint-sized campus. Apparently he couldn't take the pressure of working toward a dying dream.

Our educational and judicial system would wise up and appreciate the difficulty of cultivating our nation's future. Let's have a tea party and yell about it!