Did This Social Media Alt-Porn Entrepreneuress Win Mega Millions?
Two lucky souls hit the Mega Millions jackpot last night: one of them lived in the South Bronx, and the other one in San Gabriel, California. Looks like the West Coast winner (update: isn't) an Alt-Porn goddess named Annaliese Nielsen.
Ms. Nielsen runs a porn site called GodsGirls, and no, it doesn't prominently feature BARELY LEGAL CHOIR CHICKS, though surely, there's one out there that does. GodsGirls is an "alt-porn" site (read: tattooed, pierced hipsters, often with asymmetrical and/or dyed hair, nekkid) that also has a social networking component to it! Genius. Per the site's FAQ:
"What the fuck is this site?"
godsgirls.com is an alt porn/alt erotica site with a lot of really really amazing, 100 percent exclusive pictures that you can't see anywhere else. the ladies are very lovely and some of them have tattoos and piercings and rebellious haircuts. it also features a community set up to act as a place for the wonderful sort of people who might subscribe to this site to get to know one another and exchange telephone numbers and jokes and funny websites and maybe even get married and have a family and then we could run a sweet commercial featuring happy love connections made between site members like the ones you see for jdate or eharmony or whatever. wouldn't that be fantastic? or you can just talk about boobs and politics because meeting people from the internet is dangerous and scary.
Yes! Like J-Date, except for non-denominational fans of pierced people porn. Like-minded folks, as it goes. And why do we think Ms. Nielsen won? Let's turn to her Twitter—which sounds naughty, but it isn't!—as pointed out to us by our friend Igor at (the mildly NSFW) Driven By Boredom:
Sure sounds like a winner to me. Also: the winner's from San Gabriel, which is where Nielsen supposedly hails from.
Notably, Nielsen's last Tweet came in around fourteen hours ago, which doesn't look to be the typical output by her. If you won the lottery, you think you'd be on Twitter today? Sorry Evan and Biz, but your consolation prize is that you've had your first life-changing lottery winner liveblog! Maybe she'll throw you a buck.
In the event this does turn out to be true, we wish America's Newest Multimillionare a fruitful life henceforth with all the cold, hard cash she's gonna have. Of course, for her sake, we (A) hope she's right and (B) gets someone good to tell her what to do with it in lieu of circumventing the common ruin a windfall of money can bring. In the mean time, all of you hardworking, morally rigid suckers can get back to work (and dreaming). Today, the universe apparently enjoys the business of naked girls more than whatever you do. Sorry.
Update: Well, we had a question, we got an answer: she didn't win. Tragedy and the power of social networking! We were rooting for her, too. The universe isn't down with porn enough to merit giving one of its burgeoning businesswomen a windfall of cash, it appears. On the plus side, we've narrowed down the field of possible Mega Millions winners by one. Someone in San Gabriel: you still have a chance!