Teenagers—what crap are they looking at, and how can we make money off them? Wall Street's most sophisticated analysts have cracked this code: they had a 15 year-old kid write down what teens like. This is huge.

Morgan Stanley has this 15 year-old intern in London, so while all these dudes were sitting around miserably trying to do analyst reports about youth media habits and shit, they realized they didn't know shit about youth media habits, because they spend all their time in the office writing analyst reports, so they asked this intern kid, "Hey kid, why don't you write a thing about your friend and how they use media and shit?"

Then they promptly forgot about it, because, I mean, kids, right? But then this kid comes back with this report and the analysts are like, "Holy fuck, we could totally sell this shit to other old people!" So now Morgan Stanley has published this kid's note as a research report, and it is of course way more popular than whatever these pro guys have written this year:

The response was enormous. "We've had dozens and dozens of fund managers, and several CEOs, e-mailing and calling all day," said Mr Hill-Wood, 35, estimating that the note had generated five or six times more feedback than the team's usual reports.

Ha, losers! The kid's report is very nice and all but it's basically full of common sense shit like teens loving cell phones, and Wiis, and big TVs, and not wanting to pay for music, and it really says more about the fund managers and CEOs who went wild for it than it does about teens. And what it says about them is: They are old, and you can hustle them, kids. Tell em about 'Sexting!'
[FT. Full report here. Pic via]