If there's a reason your town reeks of oversweat Birkenstocks, patchouli, and politically unaddressed body odors, it's because seminal jam band Phish begins their reunion tour tonight. The biggest perk, naturally, will be the influx of high-grade marijuana in your town. But the 5-0 ain't havin' it.

According to the Boston Herald - whose writers clearly had a blast penning this one - Beantown cops are ready for the hordes of reefer-scented degenerates, who're going to be spoiling all the fun by being ready for the fans ("hordes of weed-puffing jam band flunkies," hee!)...with their ticket-pads. Friday night's Dave Matthews Band concert apparently brought forth a similar crowd.

Cops on foot and motorcycles patrolling the streets around the park last night missed Gallant's posse but were on the lookout for other public tokers, ready to knock them down with a $100 slap.

"Boston police will be increasing visibility in and around the Fenway area for the concerts taking place over the weekend," Boston Police spokesman Elaine Driscoll said. "They'll be focused on enforcing compliance and issuing citations for marijuana when appropriate."

Weeeeak. But, ah, the Herald writers are still enjoying themselves, getting to use marijuana slang terms "weed," "tokers," "dope," and "pot" in their piece at least one time each. They also got some choice quotes:

"That's cool. Write 'em up," said 28-year-old Adam Aja of Leicester. "First of all, they have to catch us, and then the worst they can do is fine you."

Laughing, Aja pulled a pipe from his pocket and said, "Let's smoke a bowl right now!"

Wicked. The band known for their ability to stretch a song out into a two hour "jam" (who have "flown" into a concert of theirs on a "flying hot dog" a few times) recently reunited after a five-year hiatus for a three-night stand in Hampton, Virginia earlier this year. They're on a sold-out tour all summer, so like it or not, the whitebread noodle dance is probably on its way to a town near you, and it's starting right about now. Personally, I'd take Phish fans over the typical occupants of Fenway Park any day. They're slightly less "aggro," I suppose. Also, the pot.

Cops make joint effort [Har! Via Boston Herald]