Hello there! I'm Foster, and I'll be your camp counselor for the weekend.

I landed here via a long, strange lineage representing Gawker of yore: one time Emily Gould banned me as a commenter on this very site. Sometime after, I started a blog parsing the exploits of Gawker mascot Andrew Krucoff, and his blog, Young Manhattanite. Krucoff soon adopted me as his son, and I started writing silly things for YM. Not long after that, former Gawker managing editor Chris Mohney - who got his gig with Gawker by starting the original Gawker-following blog, Gawkerist - hired me at BlackBook when I stopped bringing "daddy home the bacon" for AK. And after writing for founding Gawker editor Elizabeth Spiers at Flavorwire, onetime Gawker editor Alex Balk at Radar (3.0), and again for Balk and two-time Gawker editor Choire Sicha at The Awl, I'm here. Sometime between all that was some silly Vanity Fair article, a few entertainment industry gigs, and that one time I got really drunk and threw a bunch of marbles down Nick Denton's stairs. Hello, new boss!

(I was told to put a Laurel Tobey joke here, but I'm politely declining.)

Essentially: I'm a Deliverance-level inbreed of New York's media scene, and now, I'm here. I'd butterfly my own credibility further, but we've got an entire weekend to do that! I'm a college dropout, I know nothing about this silly Internet business and I like rap music. At some point I might freak out and take a bunch of drugs. If you don't want me to die working Denton's brunch shift, be sure to send in tips and the like. Let's get started, shall we? We can break some news, we can bring the ruckus, and we can be heroes just for one (or two) day(s).

This'll be fun.