Everything Bad Happens Today

Well now, let's just open the paper and have a look at the...OHMIGOD, what the hell, Jesus Christ, is the entire world economy collapsing today, worse than ever? Yes it is.

• Warren Buffett, the world's best investor, has his worst financial year ever in 2008. (Still better than your financial year). 2009 will also suck, he says.
• Some economists think Ireland is the next Iceland. Meaning its economy will collapse, this year.
• One in ten people in California is unemployed. God strikes the state with drought.
• Even the fanciest law firms are laying off hundreds of lawyers. They will all be forced to sue you, for sustenance.
• The fourth quarter of 08 was the American economy's worst in a quarter century.
• The government throws yet more billions at Citigroup, but it will, of course, have to throw billions and billions more soon. The same thing goes for AIG. This money will all disappear.
• The Washington Redskins sign one player to a $100 million contract. This money will all disappear.