Knowing what a turn-on the Oscars are for Anne Hathaway, it's more than a little disheartening to think of what we stand to lose with her awards-night date of choice.

People cornered the Best Actress hopeful at today's Academy nominee luncheon, where she confessed she'll be attending the Oscars with her father — quite the downgrade from the Vatican's disgraced deputy CFO, but no doubt a safer choice than the mysterious, alleged heiress chaser known to trail her on vacation. Her mother and brother will attend as well if she can wrangle an extra pair of ducats (Marion Cotillard's seats may come available — we're just saying). It's a bittersweet scenario that can only end poorly for Frank Langella, that most recent of Hathaway suitors who stands to lose the most when she tipsily gestures over her bare shoulder at the Governor's Ball, leans in and whispers, "My date. *Burp* He promised he'd have me home by midnight."