You'll have to forgive us, but there's a hot tub party at the Zankou Chicken condo that has more boiled boys n' girls bits than a Real World: Brooklyn reunion! Meanwhile, here's your winners:

· thesuspiciouspackage on Kate Winslet Waxes, Sean Penn Wanes and Other Curious Golden Globes Implications: "Just a word of thanks for your continued open loathing of Revolutionary Road, which was in and of itself a badly-administered home abortion."

· stchoo on 'Access Hollywood' Eager To Perv All Over Teenage 'Twilight' Star: "Poor guy is gonna end up with what Meatloaf got in Fight Club."

· OldTowneTavern on Jeremy Piven Fishes For Redemption With Diane Sawyer: "I have a wonky B.S. detector because I was sitting there thinking, 'Poor man. He was living his dream and now this.'"

· NoWireHangers on Tyler Perry Still Having Trouble Settling On Mrs. Right: "Maybe the next time he's wig shopping he can try flirting with the salesgirl. Love can bloom when and where you least expect it."

· scroll_lock on One Of Oprah's Favorite Things: Crack?: "The only drug she's been ingesting is a gross of Ben & Jerry's with a Hostess chaser."

A word of caution about your prize: Don't bend Glenn's limbs all the way back—they do eventually snap off. Congratulations to our winners!