The aftermath of any disaster requires a period of quiet reflection followed by intense investigation. Or, if you're as ambitious as Baz Luhrmann, you combine the two in one expanded whining binge to THR.

Luhrmann's postmortem addresses both the risks and challenges inherent in his epic $130 million flop, but more emphatically singles out the haters too cynical to look past the bad dialogue, Wizard of Oz bludgeoning, and generally boring three-hour runtime and embrace Australia's sincere core. So what if the movie wasn't good, he seems to say — and really, why is he explaining himself at all? Isn't this whole thing just your fault anyway?

"There are those that don't get it. A lot of the film scientists don't get it. And it's not just that that they don't get it, but they hate it and they hate me, and they think I'm the black hole of cinema. They say, 'He shouldn't have made it, and he should die'..."This is not (simply) a romantic comedy for 40-year-old women or action movies for 17-year-old boys, and that's not OK with some people. It's not OK for people to come eat at the same table of cinema." [...]

"When you do what I do, you expect to be covered in mud. But there seems to be a lot of misinformation...I'm used to the waves crashing around me. And what I do is stick to a craggy rock as they keep coming. And if you stick to it long enough someone else will stick to it, too, and then someone else and then someone else."

In other words, good intentions are of greater value than poor execution. We'd like to believe him, but it's a slippery slope; such an acknowledgment would potentially let Nicole Kidman's didgeridoo-rocking off the hook, and that is a craggy rock no one wants to cling to. Tough break, Baz, but lesson learned for Gatsby.