Douchebag Flack Files $20 Mil Douche Suit!

Hahaha: Incompetent, litigious superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is suing a rival for $20 million for calling him a douchebag, on the internet! Hahahaha! This is my favorite story of the holiday season:

The New York Post jumps into the Douche Pulitzer lead with the headline to this story: FLAK IS DOUCHE TAGGED:

"Alpha-male publicist Ronn Torossian doesn't like being the poster boy for feminine hygiene.

So when a business rival allegedly launched a bogus Web site for Torossian linking viewers to an image of Summer's Eve douches, the p.r. titan wasn't laughing. In fact, he's suing for $20 million."

That "business rival" he's suing is Drew Kerr, the former Radar flack recently seen repping maybe-murderous publisher Felix Dennis (Kerr calls the suit "completely unmeritorious"). This story has so many elements of the absurd that I must list them, in list form:

• Ronn loves to sue people, which tends to backfire on him. He does not learn lessons.
• This site, RonTorrossian.com, has been up for months and months and months without a peep from Ronn.
• You know who really likes to use internet hoax shenanigans? Ronn [sic] Torossian and his incompetent compatriots! For example, Ronn himself bought up a bunch of domain names of rival PR firms, on purpose, back in 2006. You would think that would trigger some internal hypocrisy-meter in a person filing a lawsuit against someone else for the same thing, but no.
• Ronn also bought up HamiltonNolan.com. I did not sue him.
• Also his firm, 5WPR, was found to be editing Ronn's Wikipedia page, as well as impersonating people in online comments.
• Ronn's suit says that this website with a picture of a douche ad has caused $20 million in damage "to his business brand." I am now laughing derisively.

Oh Ronn! Oh buddy. You have much bigger problems than this. [NYP]