The criminal complaint against impressively corrupt and stupid Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich makes a half-assed effort to hide the identities of everyone not accused of wrongdoing, but with redactions like "President-elect" it is pretty easy to figure out the identities of the people involved. The most interesting unnamed individuals are, of course, Senate Candidates 1-6. Some of them are easy to identify, some less so. The Smoking Gun named 1, 2, 5 and 6—find out who they are, what they want, and how they're related to President Hopey, below.

  • Senate Candidate 1, whom Obama's team wanted appointed and whom Blagojevich was disinclined to appoint without a gift, is Obama confidante and advisor Valerie Jarrett. Jarret withdrew from considering for the seat, maybe partly because she didn't want to be involved in the coming Blagojevich indictment and scandal (if Rod had appointed her before this all broke, lord knows how bad that'd look for Barry and company).
  • Senate Candidate 2, the one whom Chicago Sun-Times columnist Michael Sneed shilled for on Blago's behalf (in order to piss off Obama), is Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan. Hey, her dad is the Speaker of the Illinois House. The Illinois House would be the ones who would have to impeach Blago or pass legislation necessitating a special election if they don't want Rod to still appoint his own candidate.
  • Senate Candidate 5, rumored to be Jesse Jackson, Jr., is actually probably Illinois state legislator Emil Jones. This is the one Obama didn't want appointed, and Blago repeatedly threatened to pick him instead of Jarrett.
    Senate Candidate 6, a rich person Blago wanted to appoint to the Senate in exchange for millions of dollars in donations, is probably J.B. Pritzker. Pritzker is a Hillary donor, a wealthy Chicago businessman, and the brother of Obama finance advisor Penny Pritzker.

There are still questions about Candidate 5—like specifically why Rod was so hot on him and what, exactly, Rod would get from him in exchange for the appointment. But even though none of the candidates mentioned are in legal trouble (so far!), this is a document you don't want to be involved in.