For someone whose interview rider now includes stipulations like, "Three (3) bottles of Evian, one (1) bowl of peeled grapes, and absolutely no (0) questions about uicide-say," Owen Wilson couldn't have picked a better comeback vehicle that the innocuous dogcom Marley & Me. After all, what journalist could bluntly work in a query about wrist-slitting after asking tossing Wilson this softball: "Was there any specific moment when you realized you [and co-star Jennifer Aniston] had great chemistry?" Wait, did we ask what journalist? How about the one from the notoriously hard-nosed, er, USA Today, who tried nudging up to the elephant in the room in increasingly Wilson-unfriendly ways:

Q: How challenging is it promoting this big fun family movie when the public seems to be so curious about your own lives?

Aniston: I think it's ridiculous. There's just this insatiable need. I also haven't had a movie in a long time, so hopefully this is going to create something else to talk about and realize that I have a job, and I'm an actress.

Wilson: This is the nice part. You get to talk about the work.

Aniston: I am honestly getting sick of it, and I feel like telling people, "You know what? It's none of your (expletive) business." Seriously, it's enough. It's like we're appealing to the lowest …

Wilson:… the worst in human nature.[...]

Q: Well, how does doing a film like this help?

Aniston: It's such a positive story. … I think sometimes people lose track and they forget, "God, this (stuff) is hard." And then you see a movie that reminds you … life isn't what you always imagine it to be. Life is what it is.

Wilson: That was nice. That was a great line.

Q: And what about your dogs? Do they help you get through the difficult times?

(Wilson, who was hospitalized in 2007 after what police called a suicide attempt, walks out.)

Aniston: You're talking about the stupid stuff? Yes.

(When Wilson returns, the question is repeated.)

Aniston: They do help.

Wilson: Yeah. That sounded nice.

Not until after the interview did Wilson's publicist place a series of angry calls to USA Today, screaming, "I specifically asked for questions where Owen could respond, 'Nice,' "That was nice,' or 'Nice-a-rooni.' You think you can play hardball with me and the Wilson brothers? Just wait until Luke refuses to do a sit-down for his voice work in The Tale of Desperaux 3!"