Ad Age ran the numbers and found magazines eliminated 3,200 jobs between June and the end of September. And that was before the Great Magazine Die-Off! Here's what to do before your severance checks run out, former magazine people: Don't put off looking for a job; call up those contacts you thoughtfully cultivated before you were laid off and be an insane, annoying optimist. Do so and you just might be among the lucky few to snag one of the jobs on the following list, which depressingly represents the sum total of what Ad Age found to be still available, sometimes:

  • Selling advertising for display "at the gas pumps... at the malls." You can tell your friends you work in "out of home advertising" if you prefer, although then they'll probably assume you sell those ads above urinals in bars.
  • Pharmaceutical advertising, aka "direct-to-consumer advertising." If you're lucky, this means helping with print or TV ads. If you're not, you may well be spamming ads for "V1agra," or designing/selling Web ads that are barely a step above.
  • "Contract and consulting opportunities," miscellaneous.

Is any of that really worse than, say, fact-checking a back-of-the-book listice on must-have gadgets for Christmas? You may well find out!

(Image via BBC)