'HSM 3: The Quest For Second Base' Electrifies America
Low energy? Have a nutritious boost with this recipe for a Defamer Monday Morning Power-Up Smoothie: · 2 cups weak coffee · 47 hazelnut Coffee-Mate single servers · 128 Sweet n' Lo packets · Container of papaya yogurt with Post-It on it reading "Charlene's. DO NOT TOUCH." · Just the turkey slices from leftover platter of sandwiches · Petrified piece of Costco birthday cake · 1 scoop printer toner Pour all contents into paper shredder. Enjoy with a garnish of box office numbers, after the jump!1. High School Musical 3 - $42 million The biggest opening ever for a movie musical has Disney walking on air (and Vincente Minnelli spinning in his grave), as HSM's familiar cast of nonthreatening triple-threats successfully made the leap to the big screen. In the series's most mature storyline to date, the entire Wildcats team reveals that it's gay. East High's student body quickly rises to the occasion, however, mounting a bake sale to send their beloved basketball-dance team to the Teen Gay Olympics in Vienna, all of which culminates in the showstopper, "We're All in This Together (Lemon Bars For Change)." 2. Saw V - $30.5 million Saw lovers piled into theaters once again for the fifth installment of Lionsgate's Halloween tradition, though budget restrictions wouldn't allow for some of the series's more elaborate killing sequences. Instead, shots of Jigsaw riding his tricycle in front of a green screen were superimposed over stock footage of a pork slaughterhouse in Virginia, with V.O. of actors shouting, "Those aren't pigs! Those are human beings!" added later in post to enhance the chilling effect. Fans agreed it was the best installment yet. 3. Max Payne - $7.6 million Having virtually nothing left to say about Max Payne, we'll just point out that it took in an average of $2,248 per screen this weekend. By comparison, Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom—yet another cult cable show to make the leap to the big screen this weekend—took $32,200 per screen. The lesson? Gamers might be an obvious built-in audience, but never underestimate fans of a black, gay Sex and the City. (Even if the movie's title disturbingly recalls Gay Vito's savage demise). 4. Beverly Hills Chihuahua $6.916 million You know that scene where there's literally thousands of chihuahua extras dancing and singing in Oaxaca? Wagandstuff mounted all of them. 5. Pride & Glory - $6.325 million One thing is for certain in this gritty cop drama: Colin Farrell WILLNOTAPOLOGIZEFUHDOINWHATHEDO! Particularly if what he do is wander in and out of an unconvincing New York accent.