• Star magazine claimed Lindsay Lohan quit Alcoholics Anonymous an has been drinking, doing cocaine and cutting herself as her life spirals out of control. Lohan already called the story "ridiculous" and slammed Star's track record in a pre-emptive MySpace strike Friday.
  • On the verge of bankruptcy, Hugh Hefner is having to fire a bunch of Playboy staff, beg Sarah Palin to take off her clothes and ignore the wandering eye of the most loyal of his three girlfriends (she's married, he should have figured).
  • Britney Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline are in couples counseling and considering getting back together, according to the National Enquirer. Meanwhile, Spears' album was delayed so she can make it sound better. In exactly six months, her life with be PERFECT. (I'd happily settle for "rich and no longer in a mental hospital," but whatever.)
  • In addition to Ed Westwick of Gossip Girl, Drew Barrymore is also supposedly snogging some random Spotted Pig waiter. [P6]
  • John McCain spent $6,000 on makeup like an elitist girl from Godless Hollywood. [P6]
  • After AOL backed out of a deal to link to Joan Rivers' red carpet Emmys blog, which contained many Nazi references, Rivers said, "AOL is like Holocaust deniers." [P6]
  • Some online impersonators pretended to be Steven Tyler and set up a fake blog. They even obtained real salacious secrets from the real Steven Tyler's life, which is actually kind of admirable. It would have been so easy just to fake that part, too! [TMZ]