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Though it's been a long while since Courtney Love caused controversy at the VMAs, the singer wasn't about to let last night's purity ring flap pass by without giving that virginal young upstart Jordin Sparks the what-for. Yes, even though Love claims not to have watched last night's ceremony (though she adores host Russell Brand), she took to her blog to denounce the latest crop of chaste young performers, giving them the sort of X-rated advice that would make a Jonas Brother blush (not that Miley, though — she's heard it all). We've excerpted the best bits below, though we warn you that they're hard to read — not because of their shock value, but because their author is the garrulous misspeller Courtney Love:

i didnt go to the "VMAS" as we used to call them but theyve gotten so fucking Urban i dont know i guess Van Toffler thought ( hes an exec at MTV ) he was being edgy and he WAS by letting my darkling prince Brand host the mtv awards- but theyre not the "VMAS" and they never will be again - i had ZERO desire to watch let alone go and thats one of my very favourite people ive ever known or had the honour of being friends and fiends with hosting it so i feel horribly rude that my desire not to watch assholes with chastity rings- oh for fucks sake ive had some great conversations but not ONE has ever ended in an Orgasm, y'all need some pussy and some cock and shut the hell up- ..but fuck it, its irrelevant, i am DAMMIT CELEBRATORY- i love when a friend does well and Russell appears to have done quite well- ist not exactltya fucking rock fest at mtv its...... "date my mom" remember- and it will never revert back to reliably rock n roll- its just the economiclevel of thier decision marketing wise to "grow with thier audience"" aka save mass money on shows by just predating on peoples insane desire and frenzy to be on insanely dysfunction al reality shows for free.

Translation: Courtney Love has some quibbles with MTV (just like us!), though they're nothing that couldn't be fixed by a night at the downtown Standard, two of the three Jonases, a bottle of Veuve Cliquot, and a vial of ground rhino tusk. Should such a thing ever come to pass, we exhort you, MTV: play that video. [Photo Credit: X17]