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Whatever it is Bernie Madoff's been up to the last 13 years, we now know one thing he wasn't doing was investing his clients' cash. Irving Picard, the trustee liquidating Madoff's investment firm, said today that he's found no evidence that Madoff purchased any securities on behalf of customers in "at least 13 years." He also said that he's received 2,350 claims so far, and that a handful of subpoenas have been issued, including one to "a hair salon called Blow Styling Salon located blocks away from Mr. Madoff's Manhattan penthouse apartment." Can't wait to hear about that one! [WSJ, NYT]