Tell Us Your Fantasy Campaign-Completing Stories
As if this Ben-Hur-esque election season hadn't already been crazy and exhausting enough, along came Sarah Palin on Friday, Republican John McCain's strangely selected (determined by tea leaves? gleaned from the position of the sun? through phrenology? by listening to whispers on the wind?) pick for running mate. She's the governor of a sprawling and empty Northern wilderness, she's a former beauty queen, and she's got a knocked-up outta wedlock daughter. It doesn't get any better, does it? Or, you know, maybe it could. We have some sorta-believable fantasy campaign stories in mind that would ensure that this batshit insane campaign season could finally be deemed complete and, perhaps, the Best Election Season Ever. What if little Bristol Palin (the pregnant daughter) fled to abortion-happy Canada, causing some sort of international incident? Or wouldn't it be terrific if Scottsdale Retirement Community Barbie Cindy McCain was found to be keeping servants as modern-day slaves, paid next to nothing and sleeping huddled and cold under the stairs? Ohh, and what if an old paper of Barack Obama's from Harvard was discovered, and its topic was an avid defense of Huey Newton? These are all sort of wonderfully plausible (in a silly way), and we're curious to see if you can top them (we're sure you can). Send us your ultimate fantasy campaign plotlines and we'll democratically publish our favorites.