This image was lost some time after publication.

While we expect actress Helen Mirren to be both bodacious and bawdy, nothing could have prepared us for the candid interview she recently gave to the British version of GQ, where the Oscar winner opened up at length about her shoplifting problem, her love of cocaine, and her multiple date rapes. The latter revelations are causing the most controversy, because though Mirren says she was assaulted "a couple of times," her attitude toward the touchy issue is royally complicated. Says People:

While Mirren defended a woman's right to say "no" at any point, she's not always in favor of reporting such attacks. "I don't think [a woman] can have that man into court under those circumstances," she continued, "It's such a tricky area, isn't it? Especially if there is no violence. I mean, look at Mike Tyson. I don't think he was a rapist."

Mirren, 63, also admits she took illegal drugs – including marijuana and LSD – as a teen. "I loved coke," she continues. "I never did a lot, just a little bit at parties." (She also says she hasn't touched the drug in more than 20 years.) "Dope always made me feel miserable and paranoid and unhappy," she adds. "And I woke up one day and thought, 'No more of that, thank you.' "

Now that Mirren's shocking tales have made Caligula look like a fun, G-rated romp, our long-standing Defamer crush on the actress has become as confused as the plot of Teaching Mrs. Tingle. In no way do we endorse date rapes or Mike Tyson, so perhaps you'll excuse us if we take some time out to re-assess our feelings for the erstwhile Queen Elizabeth. Sure, she can fill out a cherry-red bikini like no other 63-year-old, but for now, we're going to put away our heavily-scratched DVD of Calendar Girls and reflect on a happy time when our Hollywood summer didn't seem quite so rapey. [Photo credits: Brenna/Jason Fraser via Daily Mail]