John McCain! He's hip and with it! He's a rockin' dude with a maverick attitude! To prove how "plugged in" he is, he recently had a mole removed, just like popular Sex and the City actress Sarah Jessica Parker! Then he went on the TV to advise Americans to avoid the sun and talk to their dermatologists at the first sign of discoloration. Then he asked everyone to please purchase life insurance from AARP. Ha ha just kidding with that last bit. But not the sunscreen thing: [Update: There is video!]

"But I want to again urge all Americans to wear sunscreen, particularly this summer, stay out of the sun as much as possible, wear sunscreen, and if you ever have any slight discoloration, please go to your dermatologist or your doctor and get it checked up on,'' he said. "Melanoma is a preventable occurrence. It really is. It is one of the most preventable occurrences. But remember, a lot of the damage that people see from the sun when they're young sometimes comes back later in life. And that's the end of my lecture from the American Dermatology Association today. Thank you all very much.''

Obviously melanoma is a serious problem that affects millions and threatens John McCain's very life, but if once he is finished telling us to wear sunscreen he could maybe explain what happens in the Champagne Room we'd greatly appreciate it.