Nightlife is an ugly business full of pretty people. The rules for 26-year-old clothing designer Matt Levine's new thirteen-table LES bar, the Eldridge, are simple. "Friends and family. That's basically what it is," he told Grub Street. There will be 400 laser-engraved cards distributed to the rights kinds of people, so they can definitely get in. There will be butlers and a "hospitality consultant" and someone to drive you home. It will be closed on weekends. I think we all can imagine what happened next: the comments on the interview have been raging since Monday, and it got even better when somebody claiming to possess one of these very special laser cards decided to step into the fray...

OK, fine. We will take him up on that plus-one-with-a-laser-card offer. After all, you're only young and stupid once!