John McCain's campaign store is a treasure trove of hideous merchandise and, briefly, hilarious commentary. The comments on each item were clearly totally unmoderated, which is always a treat. Would you like to buy some John McCain-branded golf balls? How could you not after reading reading reviews like this: "The downside is that these golf balls almost feel like they've been painted over something that was once pasty white and older than one might think. If I press hard enough I think I can feel some scars, but then again it's never a good idea to press too hard on one's balls. Nevertheless, it might be why these balls tend to get stuck in quagmires or sand." There is so much more! At varying levels of maturity and humor!

Reviewer: Gny. Sgt. Hartman from Paris Island, SC
Great gift for your friends and loved ones in the military that are trapped in the sand for the next 100 years.

Reviewer: Kim Jong il from Pyongyang, North Korea
Your balls are tiny compared to my huge North Korean balls ! I have a huge missile. Suck it hard suck it hard you puny Americans. If you don't obey I will tickle you or give you Chinese water torture!

Reviewer: John Waters from Baltimore, MD United States
I enjoy using the balls for teabagging when a partner isn't available. they are great for use in 'fore' play to helicoptering your partner into a frenzied state on the 19th hole!

Reviewer: Richard C. Mongler from Virginia Beach, VA United States
The downside is that these golf balls almost feel like they've been painted over something that was once pasty white and older than one might think. If I press hard enough I think I can feel some scars, but then again it's never a good idea to press too hard on one's balls. Nevertheless, it might be why these balls tend to get stuck in quagmires or sand.

Reviewer: Pearl Robledick from Mount Redding, West Virginia
Hi, I bought these balls for my husband, because I thought he needed a pair. i never expected them to be so white and hard. Thank you Senator John McCain for giving new balls and a new swing to an old geezer!

Reviewer: LVA Forkush from Sherman Oaks, CA United States
My friend George says these balls will last 50 years, but then I heard that Senator McCain said, "Make it one hundred." I'm going to invest my children's future with John McCain's balls!

Reviewer: Ted Underhill from Straight Talk Express
John McCain's balls look great against any green fairway.

Between this and the racist Clinton dead-enders we really need to teach candidates to control their web presence a little better. How many times do we have to learn the lesson that you're responsible for your supporters? It's not fair, no, but it's politics.

Once the internets started linking to the hilarity, though, McCain finally removed links to the comments. Thankfully, there's more here and here! Now let's all buy some of WALNUTS' BALLS and TAKE BACK THE WHITE HOUSE!